Can a crush become a friend%3F
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Stephane Dadjo: [00:00:00] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to my podcast. Live Your Best Life Every Day. My name is Stephane Dadjo, and today we will be talking about crushes, can a crush become a friend? Stay tuned
Now guys. Welcome back to today's topic and what triggered this particular topic actually is a conversation that I've had with quite a number of people, and the question was, can you be friend with your crush? Now I'm going to be a devil advocate and say, you cannot be friends with your crush. Going from that particular perspective, that's gonna lead me to ask all of you who are listening, why not?[00:01:00]
Especially if that attraction that is there that you have is not being reciprocated. Why not? That question leads me. To the following, most of the time, the level of desire that we have towrards certain people. Would it demand if we don't know we see something else, then that sexual desire that come or aroused out of us being around them.
I say that to say this crushing on someone. Doesn't just depend on physical attraction. It may at some point be based on emotional connection and that's when things get a little bit hard. Cause when it's purely physical attraction, I might say there are more chances later on for that to turn into friendship or something close to that, [00:02:00] that when it gets emotional.
Cause when you get emotional, it takes more. Upon rejection to get over that person or the idea of being with that particular person. And now many people are often stuck in the ladder, but I have come to tell you this, think of rejection as an opportunity. Think of the fact that you not reciprocating that particular feeling or desire that you have as an opportunity.
You have someone already in your. Now, regardless of how it started or regardless of how the person got in your life, at the end of the day, the person is already in your life. I need to understand something. Just because you want somebody doesn't mean that they need to want you back. You, you having a certain desire or crushing on someone, that is your feeling, that is your responsibility, and you should not enforce that on the person.[00:03:00]
And when you mature, listen. When you mature, you begin to understand that people not wanting the same thing as you. It's absolutely normal. You are free to crush on whoever it is that you want, but at the end of the day, you cannot force that person to see you as a crush as well. Now, if that doesn't happen, meaning if you don't get your way, all things turn out still for the.
I would like to think that yes they can, doesn't have to be a crush or nothing type of situation. At the end of the day, I believe that we are all part of each other's life for a reason. Foreign purpose. At the end of the day, I feel like meeting someone and reducing them to just being a crush and not trying to create something out of that.
At the end of the day, I feel like you're just wasting your. [00:04:00] Now I'm gonna take you back to one of my podcasts where I spoke about time. It's free to be there as I discuss quite often with people. There is a chapter, about that in my book: *Live Your Best Life every day* . Basically, it's all about what are you doing with your time?
Are you investing your time or are you wasting it? Cause if you use your time to create a certain bond with somebody on the basis of you wanting more than what they can offer to you, and upon you not receiving that particular thing, you decide to put them off and let them go completely. It means that just basically wasted the amount of time it took you to get there to to get to that point where you were reject to get to that particular point where you were reject.
Or not acknowledge or not reciprocated. So is that what you're doing most of the time? Are you going from wasting your [00:05:00] time to get something from someone to wasting your time to get something for somebody else? How about, okay, fine. It didn't work out. Your crush isn't into you. Your crush doesn't even know that you have a crush on them.
Or better yet, your crush just isn't interested in having that type. You know, in nourishing or perhaps feeding that type of desire that you have towards them, how by you try to recycle that investment, at the end of the day, you may just see it as a shallow investment or something shallow that you have, that you've developed towards somebody, but it is still an investment.
Time is a currency, and wherever you put your time, you are investing it. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Trust me, we often like to tell ourself or to lie to our own self that, oh, this is just for fun. Oh, this is just for this. Oh, this is not that [00:06:00] important. What are you using? What is the currency that you use to talk to that particular activity or that particular interaction?
Your currency is time. The question is, are you investing your time while you wasting it?
Just because your crush isn't into you or origin rejects you, does that mean that there is no other ways to go about things? Does that mean that you have to necessarily cut the person off your life? One thing is don't burn bridges. Don't just cut people off for the sake of them not giving you what you you're expecting to have from them.
Perhaps there is something greater that in my actually benefits from being around them on the long run. But the issue is, and none of us want, some want things now. We want what we want and we want it now. That's the problem with the current generation. There is no actual patience. It's either now or nothing.
That's, that's just the way it goes. [00:07:00] But we have to go back to the source. To the very core of human interaction, time is an investment, you crushing on somebody. At the end of the day is still an investment. Every interaction that you have with that person is still an investment, and if it doesn't turn out to be something that you had in mind, all in all.
Don't just completely alienate the person or cut them off. Reevaluate yourself. Reevaluate your thought process, reevaluate the circumstances and reevaluate the interaction that you have with the person. And try to ask yourself, well, that didn't work out the way I thought, but could there be something more to this person than what I wanted from them?
Coz believe me, most of the time people have way more to offer than what we reduce them to be by reducing somebody to be [00:08:00] just a crush? You ignore everything else that they could bring on the table. You, you reject everything else that they are. They could be a job opportunity line there. They could be a business opportunity line there, there could be a friendship opportunity line there.
There could be so many things right there. So, Hear me out, if nothing else, let this be a takeout from this, human interaction are quite complicated. I give you that, but could things be the way they are because of what you reduce people to be? What one thing can you turn around or modify in your way of thinking or approaching people
that will turn things around for the greater good? Remember this, your time is either, invested or wasted, and you can't redeem time. However, however [00:09:00] you can recycle it, you can redefine it, but the choice is yours. Of course. That's all for today. I look forward to having your thoughts on this particular episode.
Keep getting out there. Keep showing up and keep sure off you've got this. Have a good day.