[00:00:00] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to my podcast. Give Your Best Life Every Day. My name is Stephan Dadjo, and today's topic is going to be about cherophobia, the fear of being happy, Cherophobia, which in simple terms means the fear of being happy is more common and happens more often than you think. Now, where does it come from?
[00:00:24] You might ask, how does it manifest? Is it a form of mental illness? What can one do about it? Well, stay tuned. We are about to find out
[00:00:40] being cherophobic, as I said previously, is basically when someone develops an aversion to being happy, it has, it is, and probably will continue to happen to a lot of. , and that's mainly due to the lack of awareness. I'm pretty sure that one way or the other, each of us has [00:01:00] either been there, witness someone going through it, or will eventually go through it, and that's the reason why I find this topic of great relevance.
[00:01:11] Although it may not be classified as a mental illness, it's nevertheless a form of anxiety. Hence, that may affect your quality of. We've all been through traumas, tragedies, and relatively painful moments in our lives. You know, while some of us may manage to process their thought process and grow from there, others may get stuck at stages that prompt them to overly protect themselves.
[00:01:39] By all means, literally, by all means, from anything that may directly or indirectly give them the idea. It might take them to that place, you know, that painful place, that part of their past that they left unprocessed and [00:02:00] undealt with. Cherophobia can often be observed through someone being afraid to participate in anything fun.
[00:02:06] Not that it isn't about their activities themselves, but in the act of letting go and being carefree in the. Cherophobics toxically think that the moment they let go and have any type of fun whatsoever, something bad will follow. Something bad will happen. Hence they don't. From that very perspective,
[00:02:28] It is critical to mention that despite the reason behind certain thought processes, the fact remains that what we think we attract, what we focus on will always, and I. Always expand, and I would like to flex on the fact that the moment you feel your mind with fear, what you do is empower fear and you allow more of it to happen.
[00:02:57] So if you constantly think that something bad is gonna happen, [00:03:00] guess what you do? You actually feed that thought and you eventually start attracting more of that and it'll, it'll become your reality.
[00:03:13] That's the fact. What many people ignore is the fact that our reality is a product of our thoughts. They say, watch your thoughts. They become your habit. Watch your habits. They become your destiny and that's it. So you have to keep that in mind. Now, many may assume that someone who has cherophobia probably is sad all the time.
[00:03:38] Now, that's not the case. They simply avoid events and activities that could bring them happiness. Here's how to spot it according to Healthline. Anxiety, when you are invited to a social gathering, passing on opportunities that could lead to positive life changes due to the fear that something bad will happen.[00:04:00]
[00:04:01] Refusing to participate in fun activities, thinking that being happy will mean something bad will happen. Thinking that happiness makes you a bad or a worse person. Believing that showing happiness is bad for you or your friends or your family. Thinking that trying to be happy is a waste of time and effort.
[00:04:22] And that right there, believe me, that L, that last one is quite recurrent. . You know, there are many people who actually believe that trying to be happy is a waste of time and a fault, and I'm pretty sure that you can either relate or think of somebody right now that is in that same thought process. Well, if you do know somebody who is currently going through that, listen to what I'm gonna say now with everything we are talking about these days regarding the policy of happiness.
[00:04:55] You know, it's really hard to think that one will actually fear the positive feeling that [00:05:00] comes with that. Just like I mentioned in my previous episode, fear is something that you have to watch out for. You know, it can be a friend just as it may turn out to be a foe. A friend in the sense that it can, you know, should, you know how to discern, of course, how to go about growing from it through processing it.
[00:05:20] However, I repeat, however, it becomes a foe, the moment you let it take over and influence your way of life. Ultimately, of course, overcoming cherophobia comes down to a paradigm shift. Like everything else you. to elevate your thought process, you have to, to, you have to, in a nutshell, snap out of it.
[00:05:43] You have to go back and spot what it is that caused you that particular trauma, that particular experience. Where is it originating from? Because through this process of overcoming cherophobia, there's a lot of undoing that needs to be done. [00:06:00] A lot of unlearning needs to be done. and, you know, in order for you to learn new things.
[00:06:04] Sometimes it's, it is a necessity to unlearn certain things, certain habits, and certain fears.
[00:06:16] So if you think that you may have it or know somebody who has it, it is likely a defense mechanism that they've put up, you know, that was built because of the past conflicts and traumas. It'll take time to walk. , these types of things are not things that just go away in one day. No. It'll take time to walk through.
[00:06:38] So get the help you need to get and get on the highway to live your best life every day. And remember this, it is your life. It is your narrative. And you are the narrator. You are the narrator. And you can't live your life with the fear of being happy. Cause then that's not living. [00:07:00] That's merely existing.
[00:07:03] You can't let fear take over. Life's gonna happen to you. Heartbreaks, uh, job loss, uh, betrayals back, stabbings, uh, like, you know, near-death experiences. You name it, they're gonna happen one way or the other, whether you like it or not. That's just life. That's the product of life. Life is made of. and bad times.
[00:07:31] But you have to get to a point whereby whenever you go through the hard times, you process them. Because when you don't process them, that gives birth to that feeling of fear and you start building up walls to protect yourself from that ever happening. But in the meantime, on the other hand, you're not doing anything about it because building walls stop whatever it is that you are.
[00:07:56] From happening. It may stop it from happening, but because you're [00:08:00] not doing anything about it, when it eventually gets through the wall, it might take you down and that will be your demise. So you have to wash that. That's what I'm always telling people. I always believe in growing thick skin. Learn. Learn to know how to navigate through your storms.
[00:08:23] That's how you grow muscles, spiritual ones, physical ones, and mental ones. At the end of the day, that's what it is about. If you want to live your best life every day, it's not enough to put motivational words up your wall. It's not enough to, you know, recite certain words on a daily basis. , you have to go about putting the action, putting in the work and the actual work comes to the path where you learn from your situations and circumstances.
[00:08:55] You know, you have to learn to grow through your situations. You have to [00:09:00] learn to empower yourself through your hardships. You need to step out of that place of fear. To be afraid of being happy is basically to be afraid of living.
[00:09:14] You cannot entertain one part and leave and leave the other out. No. Life is a paradox. Embrace both. Embrace it as it comes. Learn where you need to learn. Be happy when you can. Be happy. That's it. So feel free to share this with whoever you think needs to hear. Let's spray the word. Let's minimize the impact of people you know, having their lives destroyed because they're dealing with cherophobia or the fear of being happy.
[00:09:48] You can't be happy. You can overcome cherophobia. Guess what? You're gonna get up and you're gonna keep on going. You're gonna keep on living. You're gonna keep on being happy. [00:10:00] You, you're gonna have sunny days, but you also gonna have rain. That's just the way it is. That's the game of life. Embrace it and have a good day.